Noah is running fever and coughing
Didn't balance @ work....short 85 bucks and no idea how I did it
Lights went out at work....didn't get to finish my daily duties
Received a collection letter from ATT on my net service and found out they didn't turn off my net from the old place and was charging me for it
Feeling overwhelmed right now. Worried about how Noah will feel tomorrow. I hate this weather. Keeps making my kids and me sick.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Music
Every hear a song that just says in your head for days at time and you just think its a new song, but found out its old. I have found that song. I was watching Gray's Anatomy the other and the song "The Story" just found something inside of me that keeps making me thing of those lyrics.
If someone knew the "me" of the past few years they would probably understand alot about me now. What my children have been through and what I have endured is not the easy life that we were suppose to have.
I was married, but I was not happily married and plus he was a liar to not only himself, but to everyone around him. He has so many people fooled and I really think he had fooled himself. He even had his own mother fooled. I look back and I see all the signs, why didn't I see them then and before we got hurt the way we did.
I lost my whole world in a matter of days....7 of them to be exact. I was fired from my job on October 31st, but was told that I could work out the remainder of th week, but why. Plus my own boss couldn't even hire me, she let the human resources lady do it for her and they lied to me. Told me I had a job in another department, but they canceled that. I just wanted to scream and that is why I said F*** it all and not go back to rest of the week. I went straight to the employment agencies and went from there. I got a job working for Goodwill as a temp during their sales peak for the holiday season, but I knew that wouldn't last. It was less than what I was making and I was the only one working so I was desperate for work.
November 7, 2007, my children were taken away from me by DHS and the police and my ex-husband was arrested for child abuse on my oldest son. I was looking at being charged for "failure to protect." I was lost. I had no idea where to go or who to go too, but Traci was there and helped me get through all the times, but no one was there for during my court appearances and I think that was God's way of telling me that I could do this and I was do this is alone.
"So all the lines across my face tells you the story of who I am so many stories of where I've been and how I got to where I am"
I will share more later.
If someone knew the "me" of the past few years they would probably understand alot about me now. What my children have been through and what I have endured is not the easy life that we were suppose to have.
I was married, but I was not happily married and plus he was a liar to not only himself, but to everyone around him. He has so many people fooled and I really think he had fooled himself. He even had his own mother fooled. I look back and I see all the signs, why didn't I see them then and before we got hurt the way we did.
I lost my whole world in a matter of days....7 of them to be exact. I was fired from my job on October 31st, but was told that I could work out the remainder of th week, but why. Plus my own boss couldn't even hire me, she let the human resources lady do it for her and they lied to me. Told me I had a job in another department, but they canceled that. I just wanted to scream and that is why I said F*** it all and not go back to rest of the week. I went straight to the employment agencies and went from there. I got a job working for Goodwill as a temp during their sales peak for the holiday season, but I knew that wouldn't last. It was less than what I was making and I was the only one working so I was desperate for work.
November 7, 2007, my children were taken away from me by DHS and the police and my ex-husband was arrested for child abuse on my oldest son. I was looking at being charged for "failure to protect." I was lost. I had no idea where to go or who to go too, but Traci was there and helped me get through all the times, but no one was there for during my court appearances and I think that was God's way of telling me that I could do this and I was do this is alone.
"So all the lines across my face tells you the story of who I am so many stories of where I've been and how I got to where I am"
I will share more later.
April 3rd
14 years on this Friday I became a mom for the first time. It is hard to believe that 14 years ago I had my first child. Time sure has flown when I look back at it. So many things we have done and we have been through. I wonder at times why God put us together as a family.
I was telling someone the other day at work about my kids because they are like night and day. Preston was the very mellow child. Everyone loved him and he was so good, never caused trouble, just kind of was there, but Noah is all over the place, but he loves with his whole heart just like Preston does, but Noah makes like fun and interesting, Preston was just an existence. Don't take this badly of me, but that is how I view them at times. That person I told that too, she tells me God gave you Noah for the fun to be brought back into your life. I mean, Preston and I can sit in the living room perfectly quiet and just read and just know each other is there, but that is all. Noah is all over the place making noises, laughing, making me yell and raise my voice. He is just a little livelier than Preston.
I remember the anticipation I was having waiting for the next day to come. Most of my family had just left that Sunday after my grandpa's funeral and most of them were pretty upset that I didn't have him then so they could at least meet him, but Preston had other plans. I talked to his grandma Rachel the day before and that was the first time in months that I had even spoke to her and she reached his dad Jacob and had him call me, I guess. I talked to him too and it was odd. That Monday morning mom and I left to head off to Poteau and were informed that the nurse on duty was late because she wasn't feeling all that great, but we got there and 1 hour later she showed up and there the pitocin was started. I was ready to have him then and there, but you know babies they show up when they want too.
I guess I will try gradually this week to tell his story one day at time and on the days it happened. Might be neat to keep up with memory lane that way.
I was telling someone the other day at work about my kids because they are like night and day. Preston was the very mellow child. Everyone loved him and he was so good, never caused trouble, just kind of was there, but Noah is all over the place, but he loves with his whole heart just like Preston does, but Noah makes like fun and interesting, Preston was just an existence. Don't take this badly of me, but that is how I view them at times. That person I told that too, she tells me God gave you Noah for the fun to be brought back into your life. I mean, Preston and I can sit in the living room perfectly quiet and just read and just know each other is there, but that is all. Noah is all over the place making noises, laughing, making me yell and raise my voice. He is just a little livelier than Preston.
I remember the anticipation I was having waiting for the next day to come. Most of my family had just left that Sunday after my grandpa's funeral and most of them were pretty upset that I didn't have him then so they could at least meet him, but Preston had other plans. I talked to his grandma Rachel the day before and that was the first time in months that I had even spoke to her and she reached his dad Jacob and had him call me, I guess. I talked to him too and it was odd. That Monday morning mom and I left to head off to Poteau and were informed that the nurse on duty was late because she wasn't feeling all that great, but we got there and 1 hour later she showed up and there the pitocin was started. I was ready to have him then and there, but you know babies they show up when they want too.
I guess I will try gradually this week to tell his story one day at time and on the days it happened. Might be neat to keep up with memory lane that way.
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